Secure Footing in Unstable Circumstances

I’ve managed to scrunch myself into a tiny wooden desk, perched on the hard, child-sized chair. This 80 year-old antique desk once belonged to my husband’s Aunt from her elementary school days, and it now lives in our home, in the corner off the kitchen by the washing machine. 

It’s an odd spot to have a children’s desk, yet this cozy corner offers just the right amount of privacy and still feels connected to the rest of the home. With three young children, our home is bustling with life and noise. That very thing I love about our family is the very thing that could cause friction this year when trying to follow through with our most recent plans to homeschool.

This is why I’m here at the tiny desk, ignoring the aches and pains of wrangling my body into this small, uncomfortable space - it’s the eve of the first day of school and I do not feel ready. 

I would have loved to have this work space finished, with the chalkboard hanging up instead of leaning against the closet door, and educationally inspirational things on the walls instead of the vacuum beside me. 

I would have loved to have felt in control of our situation by knowing the details of what to expect and how to do school at home, instead of feeling so unacquainted and unfamiliar. 

I would have loved to try homeschooling another year, when my youngest was older, instead of his infant self still being fully dependent on his Mama. 

But here we are. 

The circumstances of our world in pandemic right now and last-minute schooling decisions didn’t leave enough time to be fully ready. 

It’s that feeling of being unprepared that tempts me to not even try; to quit before I’ve even begun because my ideal, perfect place of having it all together does not exist. It feels like I’m beginning this school year unbalanced, standing on uneven ground, unable to get a secure foothold.

It’s interesting that these places and seasons we find ourselves in, or are directed into by God, leave us so rarely prepared that we think we must be doing something wrong. 

But what if it’s not wrong? What if God is allowing us to start off on sinking sand so we will desire instead to stand firm upon the rock? 

The Bible talks about what we are standing on, by referring to the foundation on which we build a house. It says the house built upon the sand will come crashing down in a storm from the rain and rising waters. Yet about the house built solidly upon the rock, it says this: “The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn’t collapse, because its foundation was on the rock” (Matthew 7:25).

Deuteronomy 32:4 says: “He [God] is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.”

It seems as though the fate of the house, whether it will stand secure or come crashing down, does not depend on the house itself, but rather on the foundation upon which it stands.

This gives me tremendous hope, because the outcome of this school year at home, and the process along the way, is not dependent on how prepared I am tonight. It is dependent on whether I choose to stand on the Rock, and put my trust in who God is and what He is capable of. 

Though I am battling feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty, I can choose to act in confidence by seeking God and asking for Him to bring us joyfully through. 

If you are reading this, and are in a place of feeling not enough for your circumstances, be encouraged that a simple choice to seek God and stand upon Him as your foundation, can greatly change your course and outcome. 

When we are standing on the Rock, we are firm and secure.