When You Want One Thing, but God Wants Another

Have you ever told God that you want to follow Him, to say "yes" without hesitation, and to surrender your every day life and plans to Him? Well that is exactly what I have been doing the past couple months, and yet when He delivers, it's not usually how or when I want it.

This is the view I have had for the past 6 hours or so waiting in the Calgary airport to get on a standby flight to Abbotsford.

While driving to the airport this morning, I checked the passenger load and there were 6 seats available on my flight and only two of us standby people trying to get on. I was basically guaranteed a seat. By the time we checked our bags and went through security, there was now only ONE seat open! 

Apparently the bad weather we are having was causing flights to be cancelled, passengers arriving to the airport late, and every flight being sold out. 

I prayed: "Lord, I really want to get on this flight. Really badly! Can you please help me to get on this flight".

 

Half an hour later, they called me to the front, and handed me a boarding pass with a seat! Someone hadn't checked in, so I got their seat.

Praise the Lord! Relief swept over me and my mood changed instantly. The worry of waiting had turned to joy.

I wish that was the end of my story, BUT...

Right before everyone had finished boarding, the last passenger arrived to the gate, so they took my ticket away, loaded everyone else, and I watched through the airport window as the plane drove down the runway.
I should mention that JP was also on the plane that had just left, because he had a confirmed seat.

I was hurt. I said, "God, I know that you could have helped me to get on that flight, but you didn't. Why not?"

Jeremiah 29:11 " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.' "

This is my struggle with following God wholeheartedly, and telling him that whatever He wants, I will say "yes" to. I KNOW He has the power to do ANYTHING, and I KNOW His plans for me are for my GOOD, but I also know that He has a plan, and I have a plan, and if I surrender to His plan, I MIGHT NOT GET WHAT I WANT.

There it is. 

That's hard for me, to give up what I want. And why do I always feel like everything God wants for me will be the complete opposite to what I want? 

Then, while waiting for the next flight (still on standby), guess who had just arrived on a plane to the Calgary airport, 50 feet away from me?

My very own mother, a flight attendant.

Now she could come to my rescue, and help me book a confirmed flight because the next flight to Abbotsford (that I was trying to get on) was also SOLD OUT!!

We tried booking a confirmed flight to Abbotsford. That didn't work, all the flights were sold out. We tried booking a confirmed flight to Vancouver. That didn't work either, we didn't have enough time to book it before the flight took off. Then we tried to change my standby flight to fly into Vancouver. But the line was so busy with passengers changing their flights, that we would have to wait half an hour to talk to someone. 

Then my mom had to go because she was working the next flight to Kelowna and her plane was about to board. 

I did what some girls might do: I went I the bathroom and cried. 

I had been looking forward to this trip for months, and had planned out every little detail in my head to the way I wanted it to go. It was the first time JP and I were going to be away from the girls since Cosette was born, and every minute was precious - too precious to be wasting hours sitting in an airport, alone. 

I said, "God, how come what I want isn't important to you????? How can you say you care about me when you don't care about the things that are important to me??" And then I said, "I don't want to learn a lesson, and I don't want to do things your way today. I just want things to go my way FOR ONCE."

I laugh now about the "FOR ONCE" part, because the truth is that I ALWAYS want my way. Not just once, but every time. 

I had no choice, I just had to go back to my gate and wait to see if I could somehow get on a flight that was already sold out. 

I said, "Fine God, I obviously can't do it my way, so you can have your way. I give up."

I had almost no hope of getting on that plane. But right at the last minute, one of the passengers (a flight attendant) offered to fly in the jump seat (in the cockpit) so that I could take his seat on the plane!!!!! 

Now I'm on the plane, flying to Abbotsford, and I keep thinking about why God doesn't just give us what we want all the time. 

One thing God showed me is that when we ask Him to work in our lives, He usually does it in a way we don't expect.  He also always requires us to give something up: It could be our control, our timing, our pride, our plans, our comfort, or what we want in that moment. 

God is trying to work in my life, but if I keep digging in my heels and fighting God's plans, it will only make the process more painful.

And despite my stubbornness and bad attitude, God was still gracious, and I still made it to the wedding.

What area of your life are you being resistant to the work God is trying to do?